MM at 80

1 June 2006 is would've been Marilyn Monroe's 80th (!) birthday. Happy Birthday, babe!

Who needs friends ... ?

Friend left as deposit at gas station

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German woman left her friend as a deposit at a gas station because she did not have enough cash to pay for her petrol, police said Wednesday.

"She didn't have enough money to pay the bill, so her friend stayed behind as a human deposit while she went to withdraw cash," said a spokesman for police in the southern town of Muenchberg. "Unfortunately, the woman did not return."
Two hours after the 20-year-old driver left, the gas station called the police, who interrogated the stranded "deposit" before releasing her. Police are investigating the driver on suspicion of fraud.

New Word: eLay

Here's a new word: eLay. An eLay is someone you meet online and have sex with.

SKY WALK: Disaster at 3 800 feet.

Yeah, so, they're building this Skywalk thing in the Grand Canyon.

That's a U.S. disaster movie waiting to happen. It's 3800 feet above the ground and juts 65 feet from the edge of the cliff.

Aretheyfuckingcrazy?

Click on the pic for full-size shot.

Poor Bullwinkle.

Where are we, the fucking Appalachian Mountains?

Bullet meant for squirrel hits boy's room
16 May 2006. 01.00 AM
JERED STUFFCO
STAFF REPORTER

A Mississauga man who allegedly shot at a squirrel in his yard with a .22-calibre rifle and missed is facing charges after a stray bullet slammed into a neighbouring child's bedroom.

While no one was in the room at the time, Lisa Murphy said the incident could have killed or wounded her 11-year-old son Connor.

"It's a Saturday morning and kids tend to sleep late," she said yesterday, adding the bullet sailed over his bed, skipped off the ceiling and lodged itself in a wall. "Thank God nobody was hurt."

Murphy was at home on Arvida Circle, near Winston Churchill Blvd and Derry Rd, at about 9.30 a.m., when she heard a loud noise from the next room.

When she and her husband checked out the room together, they noticed a small hole in the wall. "You could tell — it looked like a little explosion and there were pieces of drywall sticking out," Murphy said.

Michael Joseph Popowich, 62, faces charges of careless use of a firearm, weapons dangerous, unauthorised possession of a firearm and careless storage of a firearm. He is to appear in court June 15.

Gays can climb mountains too!

... they're just not stupid enough to do it, is all.

Link

BBC now hiring. Zero experience required.

This is totally awesome. I think the guy should get paid for his appearance.

BBC admits interviewing wrong 'expert'
15 May 2006. 09.47 AM
DANICA KIRKA
ASSOCIATED PRESS

LONDON - The BBC has admitted it was taken for a ride by a cabbie.

The network has apologised to its viewers for a studio mix up that resulted in a cab driver appearing on live television as an expert on Internet music downloads.

"We interviewed the wrong person," a British Broadcasting Corp spokeswoman said Monday while speaking on condition of anonymity in line with company policy.

The case of mistaken identity occurred 8 May — the day Britain's High Court awarded Apple Computer a victory in a lawsuit against Apple Corps, the Beatles' commercial arm.

In a reaction story to the verdict that is now circulating widely on the Internet, consumer affairs correspondent Karen Bowerman welcomed who the BBC thought was computer expert Guy Kewney.

As Bowerman introduced him, there's a moment when the still unidentified driver realised the mistake. He scrunched his face into a grimace, and in panic tried to open his mouth as if to explain.

"Were you surprised by this verdict today?" Bowerman asked.
"I'm very surprised to see the verdict come on me because I was not expecting that," he said in a heavy French accent, blinking in the studio lights. "When I came, they told me something else.'' (LOL!!!!!)

Growing more confident, he gamely went on to deliver his opinion on the future of music downloads following the landmark verdict.
Meanwhile, the real Kewney, who was waiting to be taken to the studio, looked up on a monitor and found another man ensconced in the interviewee's chair.

"What would you feel if while you were sitting in that rather chilly reception area, you suddenly saw yourself not sitting in reception, but live, on TV? A bit surprised?" Kewney wrote on his blog.

Kewney said he was amused at first — but then considered that viewers would think he did not know his subject, hurting his reputation.

Producers apparently realised by the end of the interview that something had gone wrong — and, after they had gone off the air, asked the cabbie if there was a problem.

"He said: 'Well, it was OK, but I was a bit rushed,'" Kewney wrote on his blog.

The interview is already on

YOU TUBE

A nose like any other nose ...

... still can't sing.

Ashlee Simpson coy about rumoured nose job

NEW YORK (AP) - Ashlee Simpson is laughing off rumours she had a nose job - but she's not denying it, either.
Recent photos splashed across the Internet and in tabloids suggest the multiplatinum singer has made an alteration to her profile, removing the bump that made her nose distinctive. When asked about the speculation during a phone interview Wednesday, Simpson giggled and said: "Everybody's already saying it, so I just don't talk about it. I'm like, okay, whatever. It doesn't bother me."

I wish he'd make himself disappear

Blaine fails to break underwater record in New York
Mon 08 May 09.45 PM EST
By Martinne Geller


NEW YORK (Reuters) - Stuntman David Blaine failed to break the world record for holding his breath underwater on Monday, falling nearly two minutes short of the record.
After Blaine spent seven minutes and 8 seconds underwater without any breathing apparatus, he blacked out and trainer Kirk Krack sent two divers into the tank to free him from shackles attached to his ankles.
According to the Web site for the ABC television network, which broadcast the stunt live, the world record for holding one's breath underwater is eight minutes, 58 seconds.

Am I the only one who wishes this dude would just FUCK OFF already? 'Oh look at me, I'm floating!'. 'Oh look at you, you're floating!'

Just float on out of here, pal.

"May I have a condom, vibrator and a tax receipt, please?'

Lingerie and sex toys made tax-deductible for prostitutes in Australia

SYDNEY, Australia (AP) - Prostitutes, strippers and lap dancers can claim tax deductions for adult toys and lingerie, officials said Friday, as the Australian Taxation Office issued a list of deductible items for the sex industry. Condoms, lubricants, gels and oils are among a myriad of other items that these workers can claim against tax, according to a fact sheet issued on the office's website.

While they cannot claim deductions for fitness classes that keep them in shape, the tax office ruled they can claim the cost of dance lessons.

"You can claim the cost of replacing or repairing things like equipment, adult novelties and other apparatus used in your work," the office advises, under a section titled "tools of trade." (EWWWWWW!!!!)

"This is just another one of our occupational lists that we put together to help people," a taxation office spokeswoman said on customary condition of anonymity.

Dead Drunk

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Hungary workers get shock at bottom of rum barrel

BUDAPEST (Reuters) - Hungarian builders who drank their way to the bottom of a huge barrel of rum while renovating a house got a nasty surprise when a pickled corpse tumbled out of the empty barrel, a police magazine website reported.

According to online magazine www.zsaru.hu, workers in Szeged in the south of Hungary tried to move the barrel after they had drained it, only to find it was surprisingly heavy and were shocked when the body of a naked man fell out.

The website said that the body of the man had been shipped back from Jamaica 20 years ago by his wife in the barrel of rum in order to avoid the cost and paperwork of an official return.

According to the website, workers said the rum in the 300-litre barrel had a "special taste" so they even decanted a few bottles of the liquor to take home.

The wife has since died and the man was buried in a proper grave.

Anna Nicole's Trim-Spa babyyyy

Rumour has it that Anna Nicole Smith is pregnant.
Good god. Just when you thought it couldn't get weirder. I can't help but root for her. Talk about making a little go a long way. Why can't people see her for the inspiration to white trash people that she is?

5 bucks she calls it 'Trim Spa': Trim Spa babyyyy ...

Incase you've forgotten, this is Anna Nicole Smith:

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Superm...No it's a fucking plane!

Jesuzfukingkrist!

Car struck by airplane part
'I'm definitely going to buy a lottery ticket'
02 May 2006. 01.10 PM
JIM WILKES
STAFF REPORTER
A Mississauga woman narrowly escaped injury last night after the wing flap of a jet aircraft fell hundreds of metres onto her sport utility vehicle.

Karen MacLellan, 49, had just pulled into an industrial plaza on Argentia Rd., near Winston Churchill Blvd. and Hwy. 401. She is a member of an adult tap dancing group and was attending a practice for a competition to be held in Niagara Falls this weekend.

MacLellan was inside the studio when someone came in and asked if anyone owned a Chevy Equinox with the licence "DANCE MOM". The person said the SUV had been struck by something. Lying beside the car was a three-metre by one-metre piece of metal.

"I was a minute away from being killed," McLellan said. "I'm definitely going to buy a lottery ticket."
The damage to her vehicle is estimated at about $3,000.

Const. Kathy Wylie of Peel Region police said Transport Canada has recovered the wing flap and has identified the plane. The part fell from a U.S.-based A300 cargo jet that was on approach to Pearson at about 9.30 p.m.

Downloading Part Two

No downloading lawsuits, say Canadian musicians
01 May 2006. 08.13 PM
ANGELA PACIENZA
CANADIAN PRESS
Don't even think about suing music fans.
That's the message a group of musicians — from veterans Blue Rodeo to international superstars Barenaked Ladies and newcomers Broken Social Scene — sent Monday to federal politicians who wield the power to toughen copyright legislation.

Damn right! It's about time musicians think 'out of the box'. Downloading IS NOT GOING AWAY.

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